UNCOUTH BEHAVIOUR

So yesterday I went to see that someone special and it was quite a journey. I had to take three matatus to that place. I get in the matatu and take the seat behind the driver. As we zoom off the conductor starts collecting fare. He last collects fare for the passengers sitting next to the driver. The two passengers each turn to give the money personally to the conductor leaving my poor hand hanging there. I found that weird coz sometime back people would just pass their money to the conductor through someone else and wouldn't care to look. I shared this with a friend and I was given the reason behind it.

A friend told me that once in a mat on Thika road, someone boarded the mat and sat with the driver. This guy decides I don't have change so I will just hand the conductor 1000 then he will sort me out, si nimelipa fare. So when the conductor asks for money he passes it to the passenger seating behind him and didn't bother to check. A short distance later the passenger handed the money alights. The guy seated with the driver arrives at his destination and decides to alight, he then demands for his change. The conductor looks at him puzzled and tells him you gave me exact fare I don't have your change. It is a near fist fight until one of the passengers reveals what he thinks he saw. So the guy who was given the money to pass exchanged the note with a 50 bob note that the conductor had just given him as his change. Since he had landed a jackpot he alighted before getting to his destination and the rest his history. What remained between the conductor and passenger was a case of I did you did.

So lesson learnt don't be too trusting and don't make assumptions that everyone out there is honest.

Am trying to make a comeback here it has been a while since I penned down a word or two. Soon you shall see more as I decide to embark on a certain journey in my life. A journey to be a healthier, wiser person.

WRAPPED UP

While I have been away wrapped up in my own world being selfish, so much has happened around me. Somethings happened some least bothered while others shook me to the core.

I friend of mine was sick and I mean really really sick but am glad that now she is so so much better. That gal just used to make my day. Such a ball of energy so many things going for her. In my life I have come across ambitious people but she takes the cup. I have just realized I have surrounded myself with very many ambitious people. Is it a good thing you ask? Yes it is. They challenge me and that works for me. I love challenges and when I see them achieving what they put their hearts to it makes something in me tick. It makes me want to keep going. I am proud of this gals and dudes. Yes the ambitious ones the ones who decided a long time ago that satisfaction and comfort are their WORST enemies.

Sometimes I can be selfish sometimes I feel like I let people walk all over me. I felt a lot of this mixed feelings quite often recently. I feel lost. I need to find myself again. To find those little things that made me me. Those things that make me tick. I don't derive joy or happiness from other people or things, these things should come from within. So while I am busy trying to get all this figured out another bombshell is dropped.

Another friend is sick. Diagnosed with ovarian cancer stage 4. Yes stage 4. Here I am trying to find myself my worth and values oblivious of what is going on around and a close person is going through so so much. I feel sad that at such a young age cancer can sneak up to you. I wish I can do something for her. She did a lot for me. She may not know but she did. She encouraged and challenged both at the same time. I pray that she get better and she manages to raise the funds she needs for her treatment because she is a beacon for so many people she has interacted with. The least I can do is to hope that she reads this and knows she touched someones life some where beyond what she thinks.

For a minute I will take a step back and leave my cocoon where I have been all wrapped up and appreciate what is happening around me and just say thank you God for the little because sometimes I don't think I deserve them.

STAND UP TALL, BE PROUD AND HAVE PEACE WITHIN

I have not posted in awhile I have been madly busy. I saw this somewhere and I thought I should share this. Do not despair when you lose your old friends the new ones might just be what you need. So read on and cheer up.

These so called friends who let me down

Who made me feel as though I would drown?

My heart was broken, like a death to grieve,

These friends of mine, set out to deceive.

We had been friends for many years,

With much laughter, fun and tears,

We’d had good times, but that was past,

Like many things they did not last.

They did not invite me,

The hurt they caused,

They did not ring or call,

I think that just about say’s it all.

In my awful dark despair,

I really thought they would care,

A note, a card, or even some flowers,

But they were too mean to even use these powers.

They left me crying and so upset,

How could they, and yet,

“I’m alright” they probably said,

We don’t care, we’ll go ahead,

They carried on it did not matter,

They all went out for chatter,

No doubt to bitch, to stir and moan,

But they had left me, all alone.

When days were darkest, and self esteem so low,

Calls to Samaritans said it all,

They came through with flying colours,

These friends did not, that’s all that matters.

The pain they caused will not go away,

It cuts deep and strong to this day,

To put the phone down on me, screaming abuse,

To lie and try to cover up, Oh God, this is so obtuse.

I did not think I needed to explain,

But my questioning why? Fell in vain,

They tried to say I was over reacting,

They were going to invite me, but did not exactly!

How can people be so mean?

When I was always there so keen,

They did not deserve me as a friend,

I finally realized this in the end.

No peace in their lives will they ever find,

They let a friend down badly, not kind!

They bitched and moaned about each other,

This I will not miss, and don’t want the bother.

I am better, kinder, they will ever be,

Love, respect, they no longer have for me,

To me they are forever gone,

And in my life they no longer belong.

A dignified silence is all that remains,

I’m free now from all the pain,

I realize now they were not real friends,

But used me for their own selfish ends.

I really think they will, miss me,

But I’ve left them alone, and let it be,

I miss them not; it turns out in the end,

Be content with yourself, why defend?

Stand tall, be proud, have peace within,

It is only then you can begin

To be content with the way you are,

Have faith in yourself your a shining star,

Do not let friends put you down,

Destroy your love; stamp it into the ground,

Do not put up with their moans and groans,

Settle this knowledge into your bones.

I am happy now and glad of heart,

That these friends and I are apart,

I’ve moved on now and left them behind,

To each other they will never be kind.

To the rest of my life new friends have come,

Ones that you can really depend and rely on,

So take heed from my awful quest,

And remember, NEW friends really can be BEST

THE LEPERS

Recently I found myself relating to what Jesus felt especially his story about the 10 lepers. I got into a matatu. I am the type that does not like seating way at the back so what happens I sit right at the door just behind the driver. Unfortunately we left the conductor behind because he had taken off to somewhere where nobody could trace him at that moment. Well, the driver decides you know what life has to go on and people have to get home all the same. Since I was seated at the door I felt compelled to open the door for whoever wanted to boar or alight from the vehicle. I then decided to conduct a simple statistical experiment. I counted the number of people who closed the door when I opened it and it was humbling. Only one person closed the door behind them as a matter of instinct the rest just walked off. The incident got me thinking beyond just that act of closing the door.

I got me thinking how often do we repay a good deed with goodness or do we just walk away thinking hey its my right. How often does someone who you went out of the way for say thank you? Are we often too busy to be grateful or do our egos stand in our way? This incident reminded me of the 10 lepers that Jesus healed. Out of the 10 ONLY 1 came back to thank Jesus and appreciate what he did for them. How often do you smile back at the that stranger who smiled at you because they thought you look better smiling?

 I have this policy "tenda mema nenda zako" lightly translated to do good and head your way. Do a good deed but don't expect anything in return either good or bad. That way you have no expectations and you end up not being disappointed. I know there is this what goes around saying but most people think it does not apply to them. Your actions are like a boomerang they will always come back to you. Just like words you should be careful the kind of words you speak. Make sure they are gentle, soft and sweet just in case you have to swallow them again. Do have a grateful day.

SOMETIMES...

What am about to say is weird but I thought I should share it. Sometimes I think about death. I wonder I how it feels to be dead. I wonder if being dead is just in the physical sense such that in spirit you can hear or see.

Sometimes I secretly want to know what it would be like if I died. Will things be the same? Will people be honest in my death or is that when more falsehood will be send my way?

Sometimes I want to know who would stand by the people close to me and be genuine with them and help them with the pain. Just being there for them.

Sometimes I want to know if my plans will be carried out just the way I want them to be carried out? Will people grant my wishes in death or what am seeing is what I get?

Sometimes, having attended many funerals, I feel like maybe I should not think so much about the after life. It is a mystery, it is unknown. 

Sometimes I wonder if it is the mystery about death that fascinates me or is it just plain being curious.

Most of the times though after being with people who have lost a loved one I don't want to think beyond death. I know after you exit things will go on. Nothing will ever come to a stand still because you died.

So in order to make your life worthwhile do something remarkable and genuine, not for yourself but for someone else. Because what matters when you are gone, you want them to remain with your memories and you want the memories to be wonderful.

It is better to be remembered for the good deeds you did rather than the the bad deeds. While you are at it remember people don't remember what you did for them but how you made them feel. It is not in the big things, it is in the small simple things. A constant smile rather than a big box of a present wrapped in a big box and a beautiful bow.

ARE WE OUR OWN ENEMIES

I found this sometime back I can't remember the author or the source but the message really truly touched my heart. As women there is the commonly used cliche that says "we are our own enemies" but this article begs to see it differently. 

Do we really hate each other? Much has been said about how women

demean each other and are in constant competition. This is not

entirely true.

Most of us are where we are today because another woman made it

possible. I can't think of a privilege I have had in life that did not

involve a woman with an open heart, willing to be a mentor until I

was comfortable enough to walk in my own shoes. This is not to

say that relating to females is easy.

There are women who will make your life miserable if you allow them

to. One truth in life is that even if drawn together by the same

faith, community or interests, not every woman can be your true friend.

There are those who will look at you from head to toe and find a

fault to pick on. Then there are those who want to be you (not

realizing that you have your own insecurities). There are those who

want to know where you shop just so they can rate your class and how

far up the ladder they are.

Then of course, there are those who secretly want your boyfriend or

husband. Thank God for true friends. Who else allows you to cry in

their arms in the office bathroom? One of my best friends was once

so distressed to see me in tears in the bathroom that she suggested

we go beat up the

person who hurt me. The image we conjured in our minds

was so funny that we burst out laughing. The hurt

didn't end overnight but I laughed my way through it because of my friend.

A Belgian writer, Dino Buzzati, once wrote that there is no one like

a mother. I could never dispute that, but, if I may borrow that as a

tribute to the women who value us and see the

possibilities in us, I would like to say there is nothing like a true female

friend. Only she can tell what you

need before anybody else can. She never forgets your birthdays. She is

constantly reaffirming your

value and your worth, not just as her friend, but also as

a part of God's plan in the universe. When you

make poor choices, she will agree they were poor choices,

but you won't hear it from somebody else. And oh, she never tires to

sympathize with your monthly woes.

A true friend would never compete with you. In fact, when life

beats you up so hard that you

can't dream, she dreams for you. When you can't afford a trip out of town,

she pays for your ticket. If you introduce her to a male friend, she

will ask you a hundred times if you like the guy before she shows

any interest. She would never date your ex because when he became a

jerk to you, he might as well have

become a jerk to her as well, never mind who was

at fault.

I have found that it is necessary to find female friends (and become

one as well) with whom you connect deeply. Women who are confident

in who they are without being arrogant. Women who know that there is more to

life than who is dating who and who

bought what from where. Today,tell all your female friends that your

world would be less without them

I try not to confuse excellence and perfection.

Excellence, I can reach

for. Perfection is God's business.

THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD

So I recently got a chance to engage with a five year old and let me just say the experience was beyond awesome. This experience made me yearn being young again being so innocent and just seeing things as they are. Taking things by face value and writing in between the lines.

I like the innocence of children the way they look at life and they way they take things. No wonder in the Bible it is said we need to have the mind of  child or to see things with the eyes of a child. The innocence, the forgetfulness, the ease with which they make friendships is just something I wish the whole world over we would emulate.

Children are innocent. Their minds not corrupted and they will tell you something the way it is. They will not mince their words and their honesty because it is genuine is so brutal. Their honesty is brutal because they will tell you something as they see it and as adults now that our minds have been corrupted we feel like they are wrong because we like being lied to. We like only being told of positive things but a child will spare you nothing they will speak the TRUTH.

I love they way children forget easily. I admire this because as they forget easily they tend to forgive too. I am always amazed when a child is giving a thorough spanking by the mother or an adult for a wrong they have done but within a few minutes the child is laughing with the mother. Even as children play together as soon as they fall out they make up. Just try that as an adult and you will definitely see an uproar. I think as adults we are so corrupted even if someone extends an olive branch after falling out it is questioned. The one seeking reconciliation is seen as stupid and the loser the weakling in this case. It is not weak to ask for forgiveness wether you were wronged or not it is the noble thing to do.

The other things I admire about children is the way they easily make friends. I always look at the reactions of strangers together when they meet for the first time. There is always a lot of sizing up that goes on before a feeble exchange of greeting is done. I can bet two strangers can be looked up in a room for a whole day and not even a simple exchange of greeting will take place but for children try leave them alone together even for ten minutes and the next thing you know is you are introduced to a new best friend. 

Children are amazing and I pray to God that He may help me as much as possible to find the child in me in every situation. I know there are all kinds of people out there but with His guidance and Him by my side I will find the child in me.

JUDGING JO

I have a confession to make. I have this really really bad habit I am trying to kick but it seems a bit hard. I can try and compare it to quitting smoking. I hear that is one of the most difficult habits to get rid off. Once you are soaked up in it lets just say it becomes a part of you. Oh well the bad habit is judging.

I am not sure it is a bad thing or a good thing but yes I do judge people. It doesn't matter wether I have known you for a minute a second or an hour but I sure will judge you. I will judge you from your appearance, the way you speak to your darn right every single thing. I am not sure I should apologize for this because fortunately or unfortunately we are being judged. Left,right, centre, back, front-yes turn around as in E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E the is serious judgement going on. So I have come to terms with my habit and am trying to live with it. I will try not make it so obvious though I will conceal it. I will air my views only when necessary and if I think or feel it will add value to whoever I have passed judgement on.

I can bet we all judge and there is no need to apologize because without judging we would be comfortable with status quo. We are told to learn from other people's mistakes and how is that so? How in the first place do you recognize a mistake? BINGO you had to pass judgement. Lets not all look at judgement as a bad thing it just makes you better and lets you look at things differently. Judgement becomes a problem when its used to make you feel better about yourself. It is a problem when you start being all so self righteous. So be careful when you pass judgement not to put yourself on a pedestal.

So I will not stop judging because guess what somebody is judging me already right from this post. So go ahead get judgemental and who knows what it could for you.

MOTHER'S ARE EXCEPTIONAL

As I was rushing to get a matatu to get me home for the Easter festivities I came across a scenario that really got me thinking. It was a crazy day as schools had closed and town was literally a beehive of activities. Amid all the confusion and commotion I spotted a girl in school uniform and a woman, I concluded she was her mother from the resemblance. The girl, judging from how her uniform looked was definitely not a freshman. What caught my eye was as this girl walked around without any luggage the woman, her mother I assume, was heavy laden with her suitcase. The woman was able to navigate through the crowded streets of Nairobi and direct her daughter to where they were to board vehicles home.

I was amazed by this woman, I mean she was carrying all this luggage leaving her daughter to walk scot-free. This incident took me down memory lane to my mother. It made me see things in a way I dared not to see before. My heart there and then my heart went out to all mothers the little things they do that are exceptional yet many people take it for granted. To be a mother I believe it is a calling and not a duty just for anyone to do. There are many children abandoned by their mothers some are neglected while others the mother really cares less and some unfortunate cases where some are killed by the very person who carried them for nine full months and went through labour and all.

This woman reminded me of mothers who will not stop at anything for their children they will not hesitate to sacrifice even themselves for the sake of their children to provide them with the best of the world possible. Mothers will also not hesitate to spank you or to punish you for doing a wrong because they know all too well that if you spare the rod you definitely will spoil the child. On that note I want to appreciate all mothers in the world who have raised or are raising children. Mothers who struggle day in day out to make sure their children are well provided for. Mothers who pray for their children, guide them and punish them for any wrong doing.

I know mothers are exceptional and when I become one I will instill the values my mother instilled in me in my children. Because of my mother, I am where I am and I am who I am. GOD BLESS MOTHERS. 

KIND GESTURES

In all honesty so much has been going on around me I just could not pick out something worth mentioning. I feel like I have changed and not so in a good way. I have realized that I no longer appreciate the little things that matter. I want to go back there, I want to develop my eye for detail. Detail here being the little things that matter, the simple things in life. I want to appreciate the small puzzles that make the big picture.

Since I moved houses I usually walk to work. No matatu hustles anymore although I must admit I do miss them sometimes because that is where I sometimes got my inspirations. So this morning something interesting happened. As I was walking to work it was drizzling and there was a lady walking ahead of me. The lady was covering herself with an umbrella and she kept looking back at me. Ok sometimes I get paranoid especially towards strangers. All these stories you keep hearing of how people are being harmed just kept flashing in my head. I started to slow down she slowed down too and there and then I got scared but I said I will put a mask on it. As I got nearer she stopped and asked me if we were going towards the same direction. Indeed we were and I think I must have spotted her severally as I go to work now that I had gotten a chance to see her face. I am good with faces and sometimes names too. I responded to her query indeed we were heading towards the same direction. She asked me if she share her umbrella with me. There and then I melted. My heart was filled with lots of warmth. Warmth that only great kindness, love and honesty can generate.

 I was amazed that a total stranger was willing to share something so private with me. I say something private because the proximity with which one walks with another under an umbrella is amazing. You have to know the other person to share the umbrella with them - at least that is what I believe. All in all this kind gesture just made my day. It made me realize that reading in between the lines sometimes just doesn't matter. I am guilty of always reading in between the line. Sometimes I pick the right message other times I misinterpret them like today. So today I will try and be open minded not trying too hard to get the hidden message where there is none just to see things the way they are.

IT IS 2-WAY

There are two things that are to way so far -and that is according to me- love and respect. I love the Bible verse that says do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. I mean it is that simple. If you don't want someone to do something to you do not do it to them hence if you want respect you got to give it and if you don't give it then definitely you shall not receive it.

Many a times, especially in the workplace people often tend to confuse fear with respect. Many "bosses" or seniors walk around thinking that they are feared while in the real sense they are not `RESPECTED but are FEARED. Such people if they meet their colleagues outside the workplace it is when they realize what happens at work is a sham. No respect whatsoever is accorded unto them.

You can be the who is who in this country but if you don't respect people and what they are then am sorry you just hold a title and no respect comes with a title it is often given to the holder of the title. It reminded me of a conversation I heard this morning between two children as they went to school. It was a boy and girl sharing the experiences they have had with a certain conductor. Clearly they did not like him especially how he talked to them or asked for the bus fare from the passengers. What was clear is they feared him but did not respect him they even had a nickname for him. That right there is a classic example of respect being two-way. If the conductor treated the passengers well probably the kids would respect him.

The same applies to all situations be it a parent and a child, a student and a teacher or a senior and a junior. Definitely if a boss disrespects me I do not see why I should waste my time respecting you. So moving on swiftly....

A MUST READ FOR MY SISTERS

I found this somewhere and I thought it was worth sharing. Ladies hope you pick something from it and enjoy thats the whole point though. ENJOY “The Side Chick Mentality” Many times as men we see great potential in a woman we date and we decide to make her the 1, or our “Queen”. We overlook her flaws and shortcomings, why? Well, because we see the foundation of something we can build upon and if everything goes according to plan, a great future. Sound like the man of your dreams right ladies? Exactly, but you guys go and set fire to the whole situation with your “Side chick Mentality“. If things are going too well, it’s overwhelming for you. You start snooping for things, you may pull away, run away etc etc. You guys get the idea of where this is headed. Below is shit that set us on fire as men, in regards to women we foresee as our “Queen”. Letting you have your space: Say what b*tch?! We will never actually verbalize the “B” word to you, however that’s what immediately goes through our mind when you say such nonsense. So, let us get this straight; YOU are giving me enough space to find another woman to fill the space you refuse to occupy because of what exactly? I had a woman once tell me “I don’t want to crowd your space.” If I give you the title of my woman, there is no “crowding” of the space unless you having girls night out and I drag my ass there or vice versa. Any other time ladies, check in, on, with your man frequently. It’s not nagging to want to show me love and affection. You all need to realize whats a man and whats a boy. I expect my woman to want to be up under me, whether I’m in the mood or not. If you are not trying to be up under me then either you slow as hell or there is someone else. A woman who wants your man is spending every moment she can trying to get your man, why would you then give her all the time in the world to get acquainted with him? You can’t blame your man for straying at that point, no you can’t, because you abandoned your role & duties. If you don’t live with your dude how do you go all day without communication? No “How was your day today?” The Wife/Queen role don’t JUST happen when you move-in its one you play at all time to show you care about the position you were given. Space is for women who don’t want the position or too stupid to keep it. The Great debaters: Arguing, debating, discussing your man with the next woman unless you are in a full-time threesome for a relationship is pointless. Most of you women have no clue that you are the actual weak link to your own relationships. Why? Because other women see that they can bait you into a situation not favorable for your future. The man has the role of the Head of the household for a reason. It allows the queen to never be put under distress, but YOU “new chicks” who need to be seen and heard put your simple asses in the line of fire by not knowing your place. Let’s take 1 example first. The chick who your man has been conversing with is now upset he wont take it any further than some flirting, venting and just conversation. She feels like she has been there for him when you weren’t and now see’s that he won’t leave you for her. So now she finds a way to get your attention. Lets use twitter, we have all seen it. When the irrelevant chick “@’s” the Queen and start running off at her mouth. Here’s what you don’t do: Argue with her. She has nothing to lose, all she is trying to do is make you get your crown dirty and not as polished or great we make you out to be. Seriously, when I was talking w/ a particular chick quite a few females made the statement of “She aint all that you make her out to be.” Ladies have to understand “Queen” isn’t just some cool name we use. You have to embody that. Bill Clinton had Hilary looking all types of crazy but what did she do? “We as a family will deal with this.” Don’t start with the “but she was a first lady though” shit, It doesn’t stop a woman from leaving, and if we’re going to take it further you’re the first lady of your household. Whenever you step out no matter the circumstances you should show that your kingdom is strong. If your household/relationship isn’t we will find out when we see that you all are no longer together. That “Oh, shit.. I thought they were happy” moment is what I’m referring to. Therefore you never let a woman who has no place, clearly, because if she did she wouldn’t be coming for yours, bait you out of your position. If a chick get out of line, your man will handle that. He’s the protector. You don’t like it? Let him address the chick. WTF are you arguing for? Why show your lack of class? The mans role is the protector, once he addresses the broad its over. If you don’t like that she came at you with some bullshit, you address him. IN PRIVATE. AND PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE cut out the “I don’t see why women should be mad at each other because it’s the mans fault” crap. You don’t know her. What can she tell you about your man that you don’t already know? Your simple ass is opening the door for her to strategically add or subtract whatever. The only thing you should be mad at when you address your man is “Why does this woman feel that she has the authority to address me about you.” If you don’t understand that you are the basic of the most basic women ever. The Games Y’all Play: Insecure women, which is quite a few of you, look for any reason to possibly blow a relationship up. ‘It can’t be this good, he’s gotta be lying or hiding SOMETHING. I’ll find out what it is.’ For what? The only thing that does is create issues. Now you want to question him and interrogate him like you’re investigating a terrorist threat against the country? Why can’t good just be good? Newsflash ladies: Men are lazy storytellers. Go ask your man what he did today. He will leave out all the info he doesn’t deem important. Why? Because it’s not important! We don’t give 2 fly squirrel shits about what your ex did. Stop trying to trap a dude into being a liar. Contrary to fake belief, a real man isn’t in the business of rebuilding women. Don’t intrigue a man into being attached to you if you are not ready. Shit like this will get you demoted to the side chick. You will suddenly be treated as a side chick. You’re not ready for a relationship so why should I allow you to keep a status you cannot maintain? The Revenge game: If you decide to stay with a man or continue dealing with a man, revenge or doing something out of spite should ever be on your mind. It only makes your situation more toxic. Example, a guy do something you don’t like. Lets say he does cheat, ok so you go and cheat to make things “even“, however it’s not even. The perceptions of the world are different for man or woman. I for instance can go cheat and smut a chick out and she not think “oh, I can have him anytime I want”, she thinks “He just wanted to fuck”. You however you go sleep with another guy two things, 1 you either had a guy on deck you been wanting to sleep with, which will lead him to believe you are available for it again and because he has been around he will make many attempts because he is no stranger OR 2. He is a stranger, you may meet at the club and decide to have a 1 night stand, now this is where you’re labeled a hoe because he may see you out with me next week and now “Yo that’s the hoe I met last week AT Club whatever! She has a man? OH SHIT! That bitch foul.” Now, because dudes talk as much as women do it slowly spreads I’m with a hoe. Where as if you flip it, a woman may not say shit. Why? Because she see I’m with you and that I just used her to drain my sack. She may not want her girls to know that embarrassing info. The actions of man or woman are never even. No one says this is fair, but you must realize no reaction to an action make things even. NO TWO THINGS HAVE THE SAME OUTCOME. Which leads back to being a Queen. If your man is flirtatious, you knew this prior I’m sure, If your man was flashy always out looking for attention you knew this too. Why date a guy and try to change him and when you can’t, act out of spite? So you have him looking all crazy out here because you went after someone you knew you cant handle? It’s similar to a woman asking a man for a 6 carat diamond ring, and then when people stare at it all hard you then ask him for a pistol and a bodyguard so you won’t get robbed. Don’t pursue what makes you insecure. Ladies, to wrap this up. You either the Queen or the side chick, you cannot be both. You cannot have the role of a queen and the mentality of a side chick. If a man is looking for a queen and you’re acting like a side chick, you will be demoted or cutoff and replaced. You want a title? Own it. Successful men don’t rebuild women, we build homes, lives and foundations for women who know who they are and their place, to strive in.

BEING BUSY

I sit down and remember something. A good laugh I had, a terrible moment shared, I pick up my phone to call that person who shared it with me but the number is missing. Then I start thinking wait, I have had this phone since forever and I can bet I had that number saved here, it hits me then, I deleted the number. When is the last time I talked to this person? Wow its amazing how we have drifted so far apart, its amazing how busy we have become with our busy lives.

Yes that is a conversation many of us often have either with ourselves or with other people. Often we let our daily routines, our busy hectic lifestyles get in the way of our social lives and we lose friendships and relationships some of the things that make life worthwhile especially when too often you have been receiving lemons from it. Its that occasional "hi, how have you been?" "just checking on you" or " I miss you" that brings back that smile when things are thick. When someone remembers you(preferably in a good way) it means you touched an aspect of their life in a way nobody has. It means you made a beautiful impression. Lets not get too busy to forget how a good laugh sounds like, an honest embrace from a friend, tears of joy or sadness the things that keep you humbled and make you realize what life is all about and the things that really matter in it.

I have been a culprit and a victim too but I understand it starts from me so I will make the bold step and sit by the phone or email waiting for that long lost friend to look for me. I will make the bold step and look for them I will persist and I will keep an open mind. 

Have a thoughtful day!

GETTING ON TOP

I was reading the book OUTLIERS-the story of success by Malcolm Gladwell and it has opened my eyes and made me look at things differently. The book is about a couple of factors that contribute towards success. The author has is facts right and I can confidently say he knows his game. He has statistics to prove or at least back what he is talking about.

So everybody wants to be successful but I beg to ask what is success? When do you decide you are successful or is it the society that decides you are successful? Many things were said in the book some of it mumbo-jumbo that I could not make out but one thing that clearly came out was that in order to get on top or to be on top of what your want to be in charge you have to work for it. You have to be patient and take advantage of the opportunities presented to you.

The likes of Bill Joy, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs( the list is endless but these are the only ones I can relate to-yes guess my age) are the people who were mentioned and a brief summary of how they got on top is given. Their stories are remarkable and sometimes(most of the time) the media falls short of saying how hard they had to work to make it. I envied these people because they have made it and I ask myself where have I been? Then I read their stories and realize hey you know what I still have time to get on top to get up there too. I can be like them if I choose too. If I take advantage of what I have, if I don't squander my autonomy if I do my 10 000 hours all these if followed can be a pathway to success alongside other prescriptions.

I am able to do what it takes because I have what it takes to get on top. On top of my game on top of my league on top of the world.

CHANGE

Am currently looking forward to moving houses. I am so excited about it am sleeping, drinking, eating, just everything is how am visualizing how my future resting sanctuary will be. Strange enough this is one change I am absolutely looking forward to.

This thoughts brought to me lots of questions. We are always told that a change is as good as a rest but I often think that change is the most feared thing in the human race. Be it death be it the unknown this is change and they are also feared to the core.

Change is not necessarily a bad thing it all depends on how you take it. It helps to be open minded that way you do not have any expectations and thus free your mind and be ready for anything. I like the phrase a change is as good as a rest. This is because you take a break from the norm the usual things. It is good to look forward to the surprises that the world hurls at you it is not always about endless planning sometimes just letting go and let it be is the way to go.

So today put your best forward and anticipate change and embrace it totally.

ASK HIM

I am not the type to shout at the top of my voice about my faith and all but one thing I believe is that there is a superior being that made up His mind to have me on this earth for a purpose and He promises to answer when I ask. Yes I do believe in God and the amazing things he has done on earth and in my life.

The amazing thing is He said if we ask it shall be given(I have to admit I do not know the scriptures so well but there is something like that in there.) so I have made my sole purpose every so often to ask Him for my needs that I feel are beyond me and to be honest He sure has not failed me.

Yes, I do make resolutions and set goals(contrary to what many think) and at the end of the period set usually 12 months I go back and check on them. The most amazing thing is the things I have resolved to do as long as I involve Him they work out and perfectly so I must say. The ones that I decided so stubbornly to do flop right before my eyes  and big time too.

So I have come to admit that if I trust Him and involve Him in what I plan I am sure to succeed as long as I am not going to interfere with anyone as I do it. As we are busy asking and asking it is also important to remember to also say thank you. Remember just being on the receiving end can definitely make you a very very spoilt person. Even if not directly to Him say thank or show a kind gesture to person right next to you.

It is a privilege that you are alive and a bigger privilege that you are healthy and much much bigger that you have people around you who love you and care for you unconditionally.  

SOMETHING BORROWED

Recently on a weekend armed with a one thousand shilling note I went hunting for airtime. hat all the money I had and no I was not out to harass anybody just to get change. What happened thereafter is something I thing everyone should borrow. There were two shops selling airtime. I not being out inconvenience anyone I enquired first if they would get change for my money. In the first shop the lady quickly dismissed me without batting an eyelid. Judging from her reaction she had the change but she figured it being in the morning and I the first client I might make hr day terrible if she gave me the loose change she had. I moved swiftly to the next shop and what happened really impressed me. I asked the lady if she could get change for me and I was impressed by her reply. She was very elated she sold me airtime and gave me change remarking "you know even if I give it to you it will still come back".

In that instant I loved this lady's attitude. There she was without giving it much thought she new the money would come back to her. She did not think of it as an inconvenience. There is something she did for me, she managed to bag a loyal client and she made me look at things differently. I was amazed by her attitude and I silently wished that apart from airtime or any other service she gives other people may just pick a teeny tiny bit of attitude from her. Of course the positive attitude.

I often wonder if people realize how much they affect each other especially through attitude. It is your attitude that makes you gain something or lose it. It is your attitude that will take you a step forward or backwards. It is that attitude that may help you out of a certain 'situation'. Your attitude gives out some vibes about you and trust me your vibes can draw someone away or close to you. It is the very vibes that people will judge you with without necessarily knowing you. Human beings are strange and yes they will judge you without knowing you they will judge by looking at you and the vibes you send out.

In your own very little way try and adapt a little positive attitude. It does not change over night but haba na haba hujaza kibaba. Just start a pandemic and watch the ripple effect take place. Make it your duty to be positive and emit them positive emissions.

A MADE UP MIND

So yesterday I found out that sometimes keeping a made up mind is a bit hard. I had just made up my mind that over the weekend no more junk food just healthy eating then yesterday BAM a friend decides to drag me along and we did quite some damage to the bhajia in that restaurant. One minute out of the door is when it hit me oh my what did I do? Did I just not make up my mind?

That was a lesson right there. Every so often we make up our minds not to do something and then we back track? I always wonder if its the will power that one lacks or its just easy to decide to go against what you have made up your mind for. There is a saying that a wise man always changes his mind. I totally agree with this to some extent but if it is some bad habits it is definitely wrong.

We should not change our minds especially if it is a bad habit that we want to stop or that bad relationship you left  or that bad friendship or just something that has been holding you back. It is wise to make up your mind especially if it is something that will propel you to good better things and a better person.

Leave the bad things that make your made up mind stray. Steer clear of them and choose another path to focus upon and you will see the great things that will follow you thereafter.

Have a great day as you make up your mind and strive to keep it made up.

2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR GOOD PEOPLE.

It has been a while and I must confuse it took sometime for the bug to bite. I do owe you one and what other way than to start by giving you something that will propel you to better heights this year.

Year in year out we all resolve to do so much and achieve so much. I have goals for this year too but this year I choose to focus on other things key thing being me. I choose to focus on ME, MYSELF and I. I need to learn a few things here and there things that I have held very close to my heart but now I have to let go. I have realized that holding on to some things will actually do you more harm than good.

This year I choose to be happy. I choose to find happiness in every situation that arises. I choose to see the silver lining in every dark cloud. I choose to wage the battle of happiness regardless of the circumstance or situation before me. I choose to spread happiness to the people I get in touch with or come in contact with. I will not be a reason for their tears but a source of their joy. Like this I will less wrinkles and I will age gracefully.

This year I choose patience. I will be patient and experience things the way they are. I will not be in a hurry to get somewhere or choose any hook or cranny to get there. I will go with how things are going not that I like the status quo but patience does pay and in waiting one can learn a lot too.

This year I choose to enjoy. I choose to find enjoyment in all that I do. No matter what it is I will try really hard to find a source of enjoyment especially if it something that is beyond me. The gift of life in it self is worth enjoy so why not make the most of it. We take so many things for granted not knowing that you are lucky. So I choose to enjoy and while at it if I can get someone else to enjoy too I will be elated.

This year I choose to have a positive attitude. I have realized one thing that sets the extraordinary from the ordinary is the attitude and a POSITIVE one too. I will develop a positive attitude towards everything and everyone. No matter how bad the situation is I will try equally as hard to be positive and keep things that way too. I will also try rub my positive attitude on someone else.

This year I choose to achieve. I choose to achieve what I have set out to do. I choose to attain the goals I have set for myself.

This year I choose not to make excuses and not to blame anyone for anything. I choose to guard my words jealously and let go of anything I hold in my heart anything that holds me back I choose to let it ALLL GO. To be better I have to strive to be better, to have better things I have to go for better things.

This year I choose to love. I choose to love so selflessly and without any regrets. I will love to my last bone and without stopping to think what if.

And in the end I will look and be proud of what I have achieved. SO HELP ME GOD.