THE LEPERS

Recently I found myself relating to what Jesus felt especially his story about the 10 lepers. I got into a matatu. I am the type that does not like seating way at the back so what happens I sit right at the door just behind the driver. Unfortunately we left the conductor behind because he had taken off to somewhere where nobody could trace him at that moment. Well, the driver decides you know what life has to go on and people have to get home all the same. Since I was seated at the door I felt compelled to open the door for whoever wanted to boar or alight from the vehicle. I then decided to conduct a simple statistical experiment. I counted the number of people who closed the door when I opened it and it was humbling. Only one person closed the door behind them as a matter of instinct the rest just walked off. The incident got me thinking beyond just that act of closing the door.

I got me thinking how often do we repay a good deed with goodness or do we just walk away thinking hey its my right. How often does someone who you went out of the way for say thank you? Are we often too busy to be grateful or do our egos stand in our way? This incident reminded me of the 10 lepers that Jesus healed. Out of the 10 ONLY 1 came back to thank Jesus and appreciate what he did for them. How often do you smile back at the that stranger who smiled at you because they thought you look better smiling?

 I have this policy "tenda mema nenda zako" lightly translated to do good and head your way. Do a good deed but don't expect anything in return either good or bad. That way you have no expectations and you end up not being disappointed. I know there is this what goes around saying but most people think it does not apply to them. Your actions are like a boomerang they will always come back to you. Just like words you should be careful the kind of words you speak. Make sure they are gentle, soft and sweet just in case you have to swallow them again. Do have a grateful day.

SOMETIMES...

What am about to say is weird but I thought I should share it. Sometimes I think about death. I wonder I how it feels to be dead. I wonder if being dead is just in the physical sense such that in spirit you can hear or see.

Sometimes I secretly want to know what it would be like if I died. Will things be the same? Will people be honest in my death or is that when more falsehood will be send my way?

Sometimes I want to know who would stand by the people close to me and be genuine with them and help them with the pain. Just being there for them.

Sometimes I want to know if my plans will be carried out just the way I want them to be carried out? Will people grant my wishes in death or what am seeing is what I get?

Sometimes, having attended many funerals, I feel like maybe I should not think so much about the after life. It is a mystery, it is unknown. 

Sometimes I wonder if it is the mystery about death that fascinates me or is it just plain being curious.

Most of the times though after being with people who have lost a loved one I don't want to think beyond death. I know after you exit things will go on. Nothing will ever come to a stand still because you died.

So in order to make your life worthwhile do something remarkable and genuine, not for yourself but for someone else. Because what matters when you are gone, you want them to remain with your memories and you want the memories to be wonderful.

It is better to be remembered for the good deeds you did rather than the the bad deeds. While you are at it remember people don't remember what you did for them but how you made them feel. It is not in the big things, it is in the small simple things. A constant smile rather than a big box of a present wrapped in a big box and a beautiful bow.

ARE WE OUR OWN ENEMIES

I found this sometime back I can't remember the author or the source but the message really truly touched my heart. As women there is the commonly used cliche that says "we are our own enemies" but this article begs to see it differently. 

Do we really hate each other? Much has been said about how women

demean each other and are in constant competition. This is not

entirely true.

Most of us are where we are today because another woman made it

possible. I can't think of a privilege I have had in life that did not

involve a woman with an open heart, willing to be a mentor until I

was comfortable enough to walk in my own shoes. This is not to

say that relating to females is easy.

There are women who will make your life miserable if you allow them

to. One truth in life is that even if drawn together by the same

faith, community or interests, not every woman can be your true friend.

There are those who will look at you from head to toe and find a

fault to pick on. Then there are those who want to be you (not

realizing that you have your own insecurities). There are those who

want to know where you shop just so they can rate your class and how

far up the ladder they are.

Then of course, there are those who secretly want your boyfriend or

husband. Thank God for true friends. Who else allows you to cry in

their arms in the office bathroom? One of my best friends was once

so distressed to see me in tears in the bathroom that she suggested

we go beat up the

person who hurt me. The image we conjured in our minds

was so funny that we burst out laughing. The hurt

didn't end overnight but I laughed my way through it because of my friend.

A Belgian writer, Dino Buzzati, once wrote that there is no one like

a mother. I could never dispute that, but, if I may borrow that as a

tribute to the women who value us and see the

possibilities in us, I would like to say there is nothing like a true female

friend. Only she can tell what you

need before anybody else can. She never forgets your birthdays. She is

constantly reaffirming your

value and your worth, not just as her friend, but also as

a part of God's plan in the universe. When you

make poor choices, she will agree they were poor choices,

but you won't hear it from somebody else. And oh, she never tires to

sympathize with your monthly woes.

A true friend would never compete with you. In fact, when life

beats you up so hard that you

can't dream, she dreams for you. When you can't afford a trip out of town,

she pays for your ticket. If you introduce her to a male friend, she

will ask you a hundred times if you like the guy before she shows

any interest. She would never date your ex because when he became a

jerk to you, he might as well have

become a jerk to her as well, never mind who was

at fault.

I have found that it is necessary to find female friends (and become

one as well) with whom you connect deeply. Women who are confident

in who they are without being arrogant. Women who know that there is more to

life than who is dating who and who

bought what from where. Today,tell all your female friends that your

world would be less without them

I try not to confuse excellence and perfection.

Excellence, I can reach

for. Perfection is God's business.

THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD

So I recently got a chance to engage with a five year old and let me just say the experience was beyond awesome. This experience made me yearn being young again being so innocent and just seeing things as they are. Taking things by face value and writing in between the lines.

I like the innocence of children the way they look at life and they way they take things. No wonder in the Bible it is said we need to have the mind of  child or to see things with the eyes of a child. The innocence, the forgetfulness, the ease with which they make friendships is just something I wish the whole world over we would emulate.

Children are innocent. Their minds not corrupted and they will tell you something the way it is. They will not mince their words and their honesty because it is genuine is so brutal. Their honesty is brutal because they will tell you something as they see it and as adults now that our minds have been corrupted we feel like they are wrong because we like being lied to. We like only being told of positive things but a child will spare you nothing they will speak the TRUTH.

I love they way children forget easily. I admire this because as they forget easily they tend to forgive too. I am always amazed when a child is giving a thorough spanking by the mother or an adult for a wrong they have done but within a few minutes the child is laughing with the mother. Even as children play together as soon as they fall out they make up. Just try that as an adult and you will definitely see an uproar. I think as adults we are so corrupted even if someone extends an olive branch after falling out it is questioned. The one seeking reconciliation is seen as stupid and the loser the weakling in this case. It is not weak to ask for forgiveness wether you were wronged or not it is the noble thing to do.

The other things I admire about children is the way they easily make friends. I always look at the reactions of strangers together when they meet for the first time. There is always a lot of sizing up that goes on before a feeble exchange of greeting is done. I can bet two strangers can be looked up in a room for a whole day and not even a simple exchange of greeting will take place but for children try leave them alone together even for ten minutes and the next thing you know is you are introduced to a new best friend. 

Children are amazing and I pray to God that He may help me as much as possible to find the child in me in every situation. I know there are all kinds of people out there but with His guidance and Him by my side I will find the child in me.

JUDGING JO

I have a confession to make. I have this really really bad habit I am trying to kick but it seems a bit hard. I can try and compare it to quitting smoking. I hear that is one of the most difficult habits to get rid off. Once you are soaked up in it lets just say it becomes a part of you. Oh well the bad habit is judging.

I am not sure it is a bad thing or a good thing but yes I do judge people. It doesn't matter wether I have known you for a minute a second or an hour but I sure will judge you. I will judge you from your appearance, the way you speak to your darn right every single thing. I am not sure I should apologize for this because fortunately or unfortunately we are being judged. Left,right, centre, back, front-yes turn around as in E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E the is serious judgement going on. So I have come to terms with my habit and am trying to live with it. I will try not make it so obvious though I will conceal it. I will air my views only when necessary and if I think or feel it will add value to whoever I have passed judgement on.

I can bet we all judge and there is no need to apologize because without judging we would be comfortable with status quo. We are told to learn from other people's mistakes and how is that so? How in the first place do you recognize a mistake? BINGO you had to pass judgement. Lets not all look at judgement as a bad thing it just makes you better and lets you look at things differently. Judgement becomes a problem when its used to make you feel better about yourself. It is a problem when you start being all so self righteous. So be careful when you pass judgement not to put yourself on a pedestal.

So I will not stop judging because guess what somebody is judging me already right from this post. So go ahead get judgemental and who knows what it could for you.

MOTHER'S ARE EXCEPTIONAL

As I was rushing to get a matatu to get me home for the Easter festivities I came across a scenario that really got me thinking. It was a crazy day as schools had closed and town was literally a beehive of activities. Amid all the confusion and commotion I spotted a girl in school uniform and a woman, I concluded she was her mother from the resemblance. The girl, judging from how her uniform looked was definitely not a freshman. What caught my eye was as this girl walked around without any luggage the woman, her mother I assume, was heavy laden with her suitcase. The woman was able to navigate through the crowded streets of Nairobi and direct her daughter to where they were to board vehicles home.

I was amazed by this woman, I mean she was carrying all this luggage leaving her daughter to walk scot-free. This incident took me down memory lane to my mother. It made me see things in a way I dared not to see before. My heart there and then my heart went out to all mothers the little things they do that are exceptional yet many people take it for granted. To be a mother I believe it is a calling and not a duty just for anyone to do. There are many children abandoned by their mothers some are neglected while others the mother really cares less and some unfortunate cases where some are killed by the very person who carried them for nine full months and went through labour and all.

This woman reminded me of mothers who will not stop at anything for their children they will not hesitate to sacrifice even themselves for the sake of their children to provide them with the best of the world possible. Mothers will also not hesitate to spank you or to punish you for doing a wrong because they know all too well that if you spare the rod you definitely will spoil the child. On that note I want to appreciate all mothers in the world who have raised or are raising children. Mothers who struggle day in day out to make sure their children are well provided for. Mothers who pray for their children, guide them and punish them for any wrong doing.

I know mothers are exceptional and when I become one I will instill the values my mother instilled in me in my children. Because of my mother, I am where I am and I am who I am. GOD BLESS MOTHERS. 

KIND GESTURES

In all honesty so much has been going on around me I just could not pick out something worth mentioning. I feel like I have changed and not so in a good way. I have realized that I no longer appreciate the little things that matter. I want to go back there, I want to develop my eye for detail. Detail here being the little things that matter, the simple things in life. I want to appreciate the small puzzles that make the big picture.

Since I moved houses I usually walk to work. No matatu hustles anymore although I must admit I do miss them sometimes because that is where I sometimes got my inspirations. So this morning something interesting happened. As I was walking to work it was drizzling and there was a lady walking ahead of me. The lady was covering herself with an umbrella and she kept looking back at me. Ok sometimes I get paranoid especially towards strangers. All these stories you keep hearing of how people are being harmed just kept flashing in my head. I started to slow down she slowed down too and there and then I got scared but I said I will put a mask on it. As I got nearer she stopped and asked me if we were going towards the same direction. Indeed we were and I think I must have spotted her severally as I go to work now that I had gotten a chance to see her face. I am good with faces and sometimes names too. I responded to her query indeed we were heading towards the same direction. She asked me if she share her umbrella with me. There and then I melted. My heart was filled with lots of warmth. Warmth that only great kindness, love and honesty can generate.

 I was amazed that a total stranger was willing to share something so private with me. I say something private because the proximity with which one walks with another under an umbrella is amazing. You have to know the other person to share the umbrella with them - at least that is what I believe. All in all this kind gesture just made my day. It made me realize that reading in between the lines sometimes just doesn't matter. I am guilty of always reading in between the line. Sometimes I pick the right message other times I misinterpret them like today. So today I will try and be open minded not trying too hard to get the hidden message where there is none just to see things the way they are.